New Research on Mother-Infant Bonding

• Post by: Miriam Grossman
• January 24, 2016

There was once a holy Rabbi who studied the mystical books of Judaism and understood the inner secrets of the Torah. One day while he was studying, he heard his little grandson crying. He closed the book and went outside to see what happened. His grandson said he had been playing hide-and-seek with friends, and had found an exceptionally good place to hide. His friends looked and looked for him without success. After a while, they gave up and went to play a different game. They forgot about him, all because he had found such a great place to hide! And that’s why, the little boy explained, he was crying. The Rabbi said, “My child, this is a valuable lesson. What happened with your friends is what happens between God and man. God hides Himself in this world. Sometimes it’s easy to find Him. But occasionally, He hides Himself very, very well. He wants us to continue looking, even when He’s hard to find! When we give up, and get busy with other things, He cries.” For me, one place it is easy to see evidence of a Divine Creator is in the science of procreation and the bond between mother and infant. The biology is awesome, and I can’t get enough of it. But the science is more than awesome; it’s ammunition. And those of us who believe the natural family is ideal for children and for civilization—we need ammunition, because we are at war. We are fighting dangerous ideas about sexuality, gender, and family. One of those ideas is that conceiving, carrying, and giving birth to a child can be separated from biology without harm to any of the parties. We are supposed to believe that the family created with gamete donation or surrogacy is equivalent to the natural family; those children will fare just as well as children created the old-fashioned way. Biological bonds are disposable, we are told. Children do not need their biological mothers and fathers—all they need is love. The only effective way to fight these ideas, I believe, is with hard scien